The Waiting Game

Sometimes I feel like my life has consisted of waiting… waiting to meet the right person,
waiting to marry the right person, waiting til the right time to start a family…
Over the last two years, Ben and I have learned all about a new kind of waiting. The wait to find out whether we were going to start our family, the wait after every disappointment, and now the wait to meet our new little family members.
This critical waiting started in June when we found out that we were expecting and that it could be twins… we waited to make sure everything was okay before we told our families, we waited to make sure that yes, there really were two babies that were going to join our family, and then the wait to see what they were going to be!
The latest wait has been the bedrest wait. Since finding out that I was at risk for preterm labor in November, I have been enjoying my time in bed, and praying that the wait time til meeting our little ones would be longer than everyone anticipated.
We have celebrated every milestone week and prayed for at least one more… and God has answered those prayers to keep these babies cooking. It’s funny how after weeks and years of impatient waiting, the patience game finally kicks in and you want the wait to continue. Keep praying that the wait continues!!

**Had another appointment today... Baby Boy (A) BPM:144, Baby Girl (B) BPM:157.  Cervix looked closed and hard... so it looks like these babies might actually stay put.  The doctor said things are looking good and that maybe they will stay put so long that they will have to induce me on time :-)

Keeping the Faith

During the two years that Ben and I struggled with infertility, I found myself constantly
questioning whether we were trying too hard and whether we just were not meant
to have our own biological children.
Throughout all my ups and downs, Ben never gave up having faith that we would indeed have our own children. It was his constant prayer and our constant desire. When friends asked why we wouldn’t just give up and adopt, we shared with them that as much as we would love to adopt someday, we felt that God was going to fulfill our desires for our own biological children as well. One quote that I came across during that time of insecurity and trial was:

“What do I think God meant when he gave me infertility?
I think he meant for my husband and I to grow closer, become stronger, love
deeper. I think God meant for us to find the fortitude within ourselves to get
up every time infertility knocks us down. I think God meant for our medical
community to discover ...medicines, invent medical equipment, create procedures
and protocols. I think God meant for us to find a cure for infertility.
No, God never meant for me not to have children. That's not my destiny; that's
just a fork in the road I'm on. I've been placed on the road less traveled,
and, like it or not, I'm a better person for it. Clearly, God meant for me to
develop more compassion, deeper courage, and greater inner strength on this
journey to resolution, and I haven't let him down.
Frankly, if the truth be known, I think God has singled me out for a special
treatment. I think God meant for me to build a thirst for a child so strong and
so deep that when that baby is finally placed in my arms, it will be the
longest, coolest, most refreshing drink I've ever known.
While I would never choose infertility, I can not deny that a fertile woman
could never know the joy that awaits me. Yes, one way or another, I will have a
baby of my own. And the next time someone wants to offer me unsolicited advice
I'll say, "Don't tell me what God meant when he handed me infertility. I
already know."
- Author unknown

I have always known that God had every intention of fulfilling our dreams for a family, he just wanted to ensure that we were prepared and ready to love them with every bit of us. God has built in Ben and I a thirst that can only be quenched the day that we hold those precious children in our arms.

30 weeks pregnant!!!!

We made it to 30 weeks!! God is soo good.  The doctors were so sure that we wouldn't make it this far, but my God is so much  bigger than they are!!! Here's praying for at least another 6 weeks of these babies cooking!

Thanksgiving and Family

My appointment at the hospital last Tuesday was pretty uneventful.  Mostly it just kept my mom from making a timely departure to Maine as she had planned.  They monitored me for hours, adjusted my meds and finally let me go home... after making me get IV fluids and not giving me any food for hours!

I was so incredibly blessed to have Ben's family here for Thanksgiving to keep my mind off of bedrest and to help with preparing a special holiday.  His parents, sisters, and older brother's family all came in to spend a few days with us.  His mom and sister-in-law cooked Thanksgiving dinner and I got up off the couch for a little while to enjoy the meal with them.  I was sad to see them go, but luckily my mom is driving back from Maine and planning to stay with me for the duration of bedrest!

I have decided that if I am going to spend weeks laying around (and I intend for it to be a LOT of weeks), I might as well have a list of things to accomplish... so I plan to catch up on my reading, work on 2nd grade lesson plans, catch up on all my television shows, set up a system for blogging and keeping up with the twins... and of course do all my Christmas and baby shopping online... that should keep me busy for at least a week, right?

Specialist appointment on Friday...

They verified on Friday that I have dilated and that our baby boy's head is funneling down. On Friday, my cervix was less than 1cm... so they did a fetal fibronectin test and it came back positive. The perinatologist did not seem to have high hopes for us making it another week or two. He said that right now 32 weeks would be a good goal, but not likely. He wants my care transferred to a hospital that has a level 4 nicu, but we are praying that that won't be needed.  I am on medicine now to stop contractions, but still have 3 or so of them an hour. We go back in in the morning for more monitoring and hopefully things will look better then!

The good news is that the babies were measuring 2lb4oz and 2lb5oz which they said is a little ahead of normal at this point. 

Ben spent the weekend packing bags for the hospital and organizing the house and baby stuff for us. Looking at all the baby stuff and thinking about bringing my healthy babies home from the hospital with me is a huge motivator for me to stay in bed and try not to move around too much!

Bedrest at 26 weeks 5 days, prayers needed!

I had my last appointment at the military hospital yesterday and I asked about the tightening I was feeling in my abdomen at my appointment... and the pressure/heaviness I was feeling... turns out I have started dilating and was having contractions every 3 minutes. I didn't know that my stomach was tightening and loosening and assumed that what I was having was braxton hicks.  I didnt think they hurt at all so was really surprised to hear that I was "in labor."

The doctors ended up admitting me because they thought they were not going to be able to stop the labor.  We got steroids for the babies lungs and this morning they were finally able to stop the contractions.  They let me leave after lunch.

The doctor gave me permission to go by the school this afternoon for a shower put on by one of my close friends.  I was told I had to stay seated with my feet up and was only allowed to be there for 30 minutes.  Ben came along and greeted everyone and after I chatted up people who walked by my chair, he and some of my friends loaded up all the gifts and we headed home. 

So, we are back home now, and I am on bedrest until delivery. We are praying that this delivery is NOT soon . I go to see the specialist tomorrow to see what he thinks our next course of action will be!!!

Glucose Test

Took my glucose test this morning... will get the results back at my doctor's appointment on Wednesday.  Praying I do NOT have to take the three hour test... got sooo bored sitting there for an hour waiting for them to draw blood!

25 weeks pictures!

While we were in North Carolina for the baby shower, my sister had time to take some pictures of Ben and I with my pregnant belly.  Here are a few of the shots that she caught around my parents farm!

NC Baby Shower

Ben and I traveled to NC this weekend for a baby shower at my mom's house. 

Our family that lived close enough were able to attend as well as some of my high school teachers, my close friends and some long-time family friends.  My aunt even traveled down from Maine for the shower (and to see her family that lives in NC). 

My long-time close friend Noel with the cake she made for the shower!

Such an awesome cake!

Plyaing games in my mom's living room!

Opening gifts for the twins!

My best friend from college, Shelby!

Baby Shower!

So I had my first baby shower this weekend, hosted by an amazing friend from the math department.  My mom flew in to attend it, and I was soo overwhelmed by all of the people who came and showered us with gifts for our wonderful twins!  Here are a few pictures from the fun day!

Another Appointment!

I so love seeing the babies up on the big screen!  Another great appointment.  Babies are looking good, growing well and I am still free from bedrest for another month!!! WOOHOO!

Baby A was estimated as measuring 1lb7oz and Baby B was estimated as measuring 1lb4oz!!! 

Trip to Maine

Instead of heading to North Carolina for my first baby shower this past weekend, Ben and I drove to Maine to see my grandmother.  It was good to see my grandparents and some of my cousins, and to spend some time with my dad's mom.  It was difficult to see her so sick.  Chances are we wont' be back up there again til after the babies are born, so I am really glad we got to spend some time with her!

Ben and my dad in a typical pose!

Hanging out at Grammie Walsh's house

Second Graders...

I love that my class is so excited about the twins... they ask me constantly how big the babies are now.

Conversation yesterday after looking at a ruler: "Mrs Thirey, if they are 12 inches long how do they fit in your belly?"  My response, "Well, they actually are curled up in there, they aren't actually stretched out." My sweet student, "if they aren't taking up that much room, how come your belly is so big?"

Today:
The kids were saying 2 kids are enough for a family and that I shouldn't have any more... One little girl in my class says, there are 8 kids in my family... some of the other students start telling her that is too many. :-(.  So I jumped in and said, "Mr Thirey would love to have 8 kids."  The response from one little boy, "WITH YOU?" UGH!

Date Night with the hubby!

Ben took me out for dinner and a movie this evening!!!  He surprised me by taking me shopping for some new clothes for my ever growing belly! 

Another Ultrasound!!!

We had another appointment today... oh how I love seeing my little babies on camera!!! :-)

The doctor was very optimistic about me not needing to be on bedrest!  We are still praying that I will be able to work through the end of the second semester (second week of January)... but we will be happy if I make it to Christmas before needing bedrest!!

A last pre-baby trip to Georgia

Ben and I decided to make a weekend trip to a GA Tech game before the doctor starts limiting my travel.  After looking at the schedule for the fall, I decided it would be fun to go see Tech play Carolina. 

We got to Atlanta an hour late only to find out that Delta lost our luggage... and of course, I would be wearing carolina blue!  We stopped at Walmart to buy some overnight necessities and headed to the hotel... Of course, we couldn't resist making a few "baby purchases" since there was such a great selection of GATech gear. 

Ben looking at all the great deals...

Our first set of purchases...

When the luggage still hadn't arrived by Saturday morning, we took a walk to the Tech bookstore (where I got lots of looks in my Carolina blue) and bought me something new to wear!

Our luggage finally arrived about an hour before the game.  We met up with some friends for the game, and enjoyed watching Carolina get beat!  We were both drenched in sweat and needing a nap by the time the game ended.  We both had forgotten how hot the southern sun can be (and oh, how we miss that!)

We hit up Walmart on Sunday for a few more Baby purchases before heading to the airport!  It was a great weekend getaway and just what the two of us needed!

16 weeks 6 days!

Today we had our second appointment with the perinatologist. We both took off from work early and made the 45 min trek to Middletown to the doctor's office. Because of a mixup with the computer system, our appointment had been deleted and we ended up waiting about 30 minutes for an opening!!! It was definitely worth the wait.

We went into the ultrasound room and the tech asked whether we knew what we were having yet. We told her no but we were hoping that she could tell us. Within 30 seconds she said, It looks like 1 and 1. Ben said, yeah, we are having twins. She said, no, I mean it looks like one of each. See... and she proceeded to show us! :-)

This was by far our longest doctor's appointment to date. The ultrasound tech proceeded to measure arms, legs, heart, lungs, bladder, head, brain, hands and feet, etc. for each of our beautiful babies. We spent almost an hour watching her work! Our little boy proceeded to spend an hour kicking his sister, while his sister stayed all curled up in a little ball, snug and cozy looking. When she finished the measurements for each baby, the computer calculated the ages, sizes, and lengths of each of the babies.
Baby A (our little boy!!!) is measuring 16wks4days, and is 6 oz, and 5.7 inches long. His heartbeat was 159BPM.
Baby B (our little girl!!!) is measuring 17wks2days, and is 6 oz, and 6.3 inches long. Her heartbeat was 145BPM.
When the ultrasound tech finished with all of her measurements the specialist came in and took a look for herself. She said she was not concerned about the slight differences in the babies sizes (less than 8% and they dont worry unless it is 20% or more) and that everything looked good (No concerns about the need for bedrest!!!). We scheduled our Level 2 ultrasound for the end of the month. This will be an indepth ultrasound that they said would take twice as long as usual due to the indepth look at both babies anatomy!

As an added bonus, the ultrasound tech told me that I look small to be 17 weeks with twins... so Ben let me celebrate with a milkshake on the way home :)

The tops of their little heads!

Our Baby Boy (Baby A)

Our Baby Girl (Baby B)

15 weeks!

We had our 15 week appointment at the hospital here today. Since the doctor was unable to distiguish 2 different heartbeats on the monitor, we scored another ultrasound!

Unlike the previous scans that we have had, Baby A was dancing up a storm while Baby B refused to uncurl for measurement. However, both babies had strong heartbeats and looked great!

T had been having a lot of leg cramping in her right leg and the doctor sent her down for an emergency ultrasound of her leg to rule out blood clots. Luckily everything came out fine, and T just learned that there are new pains that come with being pregnant (especially with twins!).

Our Journey Begins...

Ben and I got married in May 2006.  We both knew we wanted to have a big family, but wanted to wait until our lives were a little settled to start.  Our first year of marriage involved two moves and a deployment, and we knew that we wanted to wait until Ben would have more time at home before starting a family.  After two years of graduate school in Atlanta, Ben and I packed up and moved to NY for Ben to teach for a calm three years. Our goal: to have two kids before we left NY and headed on to his next duty assignment... :-)  We were finally ready to start building our family! 

We weren't naive enough to believe that starting a family would necessarily be easy... we were told early in our marriage that I had fibroid tumors and most likely endometreosis... but we still did not anticipate the challenges that we would face over the past two years of trying to conceive either.  After almost a year of trying on our own (a year marked by OPKs, temping, and numerous over the counter tests), our hospital was finally ready to run tests to determine what the problem might be.  I had an Hsg and an endometrial biopsy.  Having had friends who had had hsgs before and gotten pregnant afterwards, we hoped for the best.  But a few months later (last fall), with the tests inconclusive, and no positive results, we finally recieved a referral for a fertility specialist.

We had been warned by friends that the fertility specialist we were seeing could be overwhelming at first, and that he would want to do an exam/start treatment immediately, Ben and I were once again encouraged and excited about our meeting with him.  We knew that besides initial testing that our insurance would not cover the cost and we went in ready to do whatever we could to start a family.  We had our first appointment in October of 2010 and went prepared for some answers.

Our appointment in October was both encouraging and discouraging at the same time.  I was examined and then we sat down with the doctor who went through our mounds of paperwork (tests run by the hospital, cds of scans, and our charting from the previous six months).   He was impressed with all the things we had tried and warned that based on his exam, it looked like I had low ovarian reserve.  He explained the difference between IUI and IVF, laid out the costs for both and told us that based on the cost of each, he recommended IVF.  He said the rate of success would be higher for us, and that if we ended up doing three rounds of IUI, IVF would end up being cheaper.  In short, drugs for either would run $2K a month, IUI would be $600 each try, and IVF would run $12K.  Ben immediately agreed with the doctor that IVF was the way he wanted to go.  After a short discussion explaining my concerns with jumping to the drastic measures, Ben agreed that we would try two cycles of IUI first, and see how things turned out. 

By some stroke of luck, our insurance ended up picking up the meds because of the simultaneous testing the clinic was doing on us, so we ended up only paying $600 out of pocket for the first two cycles.  Daily shots begain in mid-November and Ben helped me keep a strict schedule of shots every evening (ranging from 1-4 shots a night for two weeks).  In mid-December, we found out that our first cycle didn't work. We started our second cycle in mid-January.  Our third and final attempt at IUI was in May 2011.  This cycle began the day I recieved my doctorate from Liberty University and ended with our fifth wedding anniversary.  We both had no doubt that this was the cycle that we were going to finally be parents! 

Ben was scheduled to attend a conference in Hawaii the week we were supposed to get our results... and he wanted me to go with him; so we packed up and took our test kits with us (we are never patient enough to wait for the doctor's results).  On June 8th (only 10 days after the IUI), we had a positive test and realized that our dreams were finally coming true. Over the remaining days of our vacation, I took three more tests to make sure the results didn't change! :-)  Then I flew home and headed into the clinic on the way home from the airport for the "official" word! 

This was the first time I walked into the clinic with such a positive attitude.  I sat down in the chair to have blood drawn and said this is the month!  I said, someone will be calling me with great news this afternoon! The nurse said, oh did you take a test already?  I said, yes, I did, four of them!!! They called that afternoon and said that my hcg levels were 839 and from previous cycles I KNEW that was good!

Ben was still in Hawaii, and although we were both excited, we were not ready to share our news.  I had the hardest time keeping it from my sister-in-law for the first week I was home since she was spending the summer with us.  But Ben and I both agreed that we wanted to wait until we had our first ultrasound.  My second appointment was scheduled for 4 days later, at 5 weeks (June 17).  Because I was in pain and having a lot of cramping, the doctor decided to go ahead and do an ultrasound.  There were TWO sacs.  The doctor explained that it was way too early to tell, and that often one or the other would not develop fully, but Ben and I left the office with a picture of our two little "beans."  We decided that we couldn't keep it from Beka, so we went home and put the picture on the fridge and waited until she saw it :-).  My hcg at this appointment was 2948, and since everything looked good the doctor didn't want to see us for another 5 days!

Here is a summary of my first trimester:
June 22-   hcg was 18, 094

June 27-  hcg was over 50000 so they stop tracking it.  An ultrasound showed 3 sacs, but only 2 fetal poles and 2 heartbeats.  Baby A was measuring 5wks5days, 104bpm; and Baby B was measuring 5 wks6days, with 99bpm.  The doctor warned us that baby b's heartbeat should have been higher at this point, but that we would wait and see how things progressed.  Ben and I remained optimistic though because statistics are good for babies that have heartbeats.

By the last week of June morning sickness was starting to set in... ALL DAY.  Again, Ben and I rejoiced (while I ran back and forth to the bathroom) because this was another good sign we were praying for!

July 5th- Our third ultrasound showed Baby A measuring 7wks1day with a heartbeat of 145.  Baby B was measuring 7wks1day with a heartbeat of 148!  The specialist said that he would continue to see us through the first trimester, but was optimistic about both babies continuing to grow.  He warned that I would most likely end up on bedrest, and that we should go ahead and schedule an appointment with an OB doc!!

July 6th- Was my first appointment at Keller.  The nurse met with me and sent me for bloodwork (they needed proof I was pregnant before I could see a doc... and the three ultrasounds weren't enough!).  They explained I needed a referal from a general practitioner... ugh!  They also said that I would be seen by a maternal/fetal medicine doctor through the remainder of the pregnancy due to past fertility history and the multiples! Ben and I were pleased with this news because it meant lots of ultrasounds and reassurances that everything was going well!

July 18th- We went back to the fertility specialist and were pleased to see that both babies were still thriving. They both measured 9wks1day (+/-3days) and had strong heartbeats of 180bpm. In their individual pictures we were able to make out the beginnings of their arms and legs . Baby B looked quite wiggly on the ultrasound screen. 

July 20th- Fifth ultrasound, first appointment with the OB doc at Keller. The doctor had difficulty getting both babies on the screen together. She went through the importance of seeing the specialist and explaining the options for delivery. All in all it was not a very informative appt but it was good to see 2 babies with strong heartbeats on the screen!

August 1st- Sixth ultrasound.  Emergency appointment because I was having a lot of cramping and pain.  Both babies had strong heartbeats and looked fine!  Baby b was once again bouncing off the walls and Baby A was relaxed and appeared to be sucking his/her thumb!

August 10th- Seventh ultrasound.  First appointment with the perinatologist.  My mom was there for the ultrasound and appointment. It was wonderful to have her there to see our 2 little ones dancing across the screen.
The ultrasound tech ran the nuchal transluency test on both babies (where they measure the backs of their necks to determine whether they are currently in the normal range- a test for Down's syndrome and other chromosome abnormalities). Baby A was as usual not moving around a lot, while Baby B was moving around like crazy. After much poking and proding by the technician, Baby A gave us a wonderful photograph of her/his hands pushing against the outside of T! All blood tests and screenings came back completely normal!  And at 13 weeks we were ready to share our news with our family and friends! 

And that is where this blog begins... to keep our family up to date on the progress of our two little blessings!