The Waiting Game

Sometimes I feel like my life has consisted of waiting… waiting to meet the right person,
waiting to marry the right person, waiting til the right time to start a family…
Over the last two years, Ben and I have learned all about a new kind of waiting. The wait to find out whether we were going to start our family, the wait after every disappointment, and now the wait to meet our new little family members.
This critical waiting started in June when we found out that we were expecting and that it could be twins… we waited to make sure everything was okay before we told our families, we waited to make sure that yes, there really were two babies that were going to join our family, and then the wait to see what they were going to be!
The latest wait has been the bedrest wait. Since finding out that I was at risk for preterm labor in November, I have been enjoying my time in bed, and praying that the wait time til meeting our little ones would be longer than everyone anticipated.
We have celebrated every milestone week and prayed for at least one more… and God has answered those prayers to keep these babies cooking. It’s funny how after weeks and years of impatient waiting, the patience game finally kicks in and you want the wait to continue. Keep praying that the wait continues!!

**Had another appointment today... Baby Boy (A) BPM:144, Baby Girl (B) BPM:157.  Cervix looked closed and hard... so it looks like these babies might actually stay put.  The doctor said things are looking good and that maybe they will stay put so long that they will have to induce me on time :-)

Keeping the Faith

During the two years that Ben and I struggled with infertility, I found myself constantly
questioning whether we were trying too hard and whether we just were not meant
to have our own biological children.
Throughout all my ups and downs, Ben never gave up having faith that we would indeed have our own children. It was his constant prayer and our constant desire. When friends asked why we wouldn’t just give up and adopt, we shared with them that as much as we would love to adopt someday, we felt that God was going to fulfill our desires for our own biological children as well. One quote that I came across during that time of insecurity and trial was:

“What do I think God meant when he gave me infertility?
I think he meant for my husband and I to grow closer, become stronger, love
deeper. I think God meant for us to find the fortitude within ourselves to get
up every time infertility knocks us down. I think God meant for our medical
community to discover ...medicines, invent medical equipment, create procedures
and protocols. I think God meant for us to find a cure for infertility.
No, God never meant for me not to have children. That's not my destiny; that's
just a fork in the road I'm on. I've been placed on the road less traveled,
and, like it or not, I'm a better person for it. Clearly, God meant for me to
develop more compassion, deeper courage, and greater inner strength on this
journey to resolution, and I haven't let him down.
Frankly, if the truth be known, I think God has singled me out for a special
treatment. I think God meant for me to build a thirst for a child so strong and
so deep that when that baby is finally placed in my arms, it will be the
longest, coolest, most refreshing drink I've ever known.
While I would never choose infertility, I can not deny that a fertile woman
could never know the joy that awaits me. Yes, one way or another, I will have a
baby of my own. And the next time someone wants to offer me unsolicited advice
I'll say, "Don't tell me what God meant when he handed me infertility. I
already know."
- Author unknown

I have always known that God had every intention of fulfilling our dreams for a family, he just wanted to ensure that we were prepared and ready to love them with every bit of us. God has built in Ben and I a thirst that can only be quenched the day that we hold those precious children in our arms.

30 weeks pregnant!!!!

We made it to 30 weeks!! God is soo good.  The doctors were so sure that we wouldn't make it this far, but my God is so much  bigger than they are!!! Here's praying for at least another 6 weeks of these babies cooking!